Whining, Fearing, and Reassuring
“For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.” 2 Tim 1:7
I just want you to all know that God does not give you fear.
I’ve been noticing that I have been doubting our decision to stay out here and my decisions to go to school A LOT lately. I’ve been whining about money and our “future plans” (funny I know). In the back of my mind though, I knew that the doubting wasn’t right. Just a few months ago I was so pumped about the next 2 years and was putting complete trust in the fact that God will provide. Yet all of a sudden…I felt so…attacked.
I talked to my mom and dad yesterday. They are 2 of the wisest people I know. They are crazy too, so don’t trust everything they say. I have been blessed by the ability to discern the difference between their wise morsels and their insanity every time. (just kidding guys….)
My dad was especially reassuring. Although I have heard him say this before it hits me every time…”when your brother, Matt, was born 27.5 years ago I was holding him and loving him. And suddenly I panicked. I started saying, ‘how will I EVER put him through college???? What am I going to do???’ “ The joy of a new baby was stolen and quickly turned into anxiety and fear. But my dad went on to say, “not only did I put him through college, but I put you through college, I am halfway done with Andy and have already saved for Sam and Mary.” The point is that we cannot see the whole picture, we never will. That’s the whole reason we have faith. We trust that God is bigger than our paychecks, dreams, imaginations, and desires. When we are faithful, He is faithful. I need to stop whining (you’re right, Mom, nobody likes a whiner. I wish it hadn’t taken me so long to realize that).
